


the space beside you

by akinoriko



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Getting Together, Jealous Kuroo Tetsurou, Living Together, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-30
Updated: 2019-12-30
Packaged: 2021-02-27 05:21:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,708
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22031734
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/akinoriko/pseuds/akinoriko
Summary: Kuroo insists on being Kenma's best friend to hide the feelings he has for him. At least until they graduate or until Kenma meets the person who will care for him as much as Kuroo does, he tells himself.But then, what if he meets the potential person at the most unexpected time?
Relationships: Kozume Kenma/Kuroo Tetsurou
Comments: 3
Kudos: 188





	the space beside you

**Author's Note:**

> a kuroken secret santa gift for [@bbyghostking](https://twitter.com/bbyghostking).
> 
> I literally just finished it and I haven't checked it for any mistakes but I hope you'll love some jealous!Kuroo. <3

_ ‘Summer is too hot, winter is too cold.’ _

Kuroo remembered reading the phrase on their school’s sports team booklet. It was handed out during the Spring High National Tournament to introduce the participating students for Nekoma High School and that phrase was listed as Kenma’s current concern. Kuroo snorted.

He knew about Kenma’s dislike for summer and winter when they get a little too much. It might have been unbelievable for some people if he were to say that Kenma had the same concern for years and possibly so, for the rest of his life. Which is why, he makes sure to bring a portable fan for Kenma during the summer and extra scarf during winter.

Taking care of Kenma became a habit for him. He doesn’t know when it started but he does remember Kenma looking out for him when his family just moved into this unknown neighborhood and because of it, Kuroo thinks he might be in debt to Kenma for the rest of his life. He can almost hear Kenma saying, “You don’t have to care for me because of it. I can’t even remember those days, anyway.” Kuroo snorted at his own thoughts.

It had become a habit even after they entered university, Kuroo just can’t leave Kenma alone.

Kuroo thinks Kenma needs someone he can trust by his side. And it’s him, his  _ best friend _ .

-

“Oi, Kenma.” Kuroo calls out from behind as he watches Kenma walk a few steps ahead of him. “You should have worn a thicker jacket. The news said it’s going to snow later.”

Kenma sighs audibly while keeping his eyes straight down the street and his hands are kept inside the pocket of his jacket. “It’s not gonna snow, Kuro. They’ve been saying that since yesterday and it has barely even snowed,” he explains.

“It will,” Kuroo starts with a teasing grin.

“It won’t.”

“It will.”

Kenma glares at Kuroo from the corner of his eyes. “It won’t.”

Kuroo laughs lightly at the familiar and unchanging bantering. “Trust me, it wi-”

“Kenma!” A voice from behind cuts Kuroo and both of them turns to check who it was from. They were greeted by an unfamiliar male. Even from afar, Kuroo can tell they’re the same height. He’s wearing a jacket that seems just as light as what Kenma is wearing while his dark blue hair is slicked back. The way he smiles at Kenma looks strangely familiar and it makes Kuroo’s nerve twitch. A clean black and white suit is peeking behind his jacket and for some unknown reason, Kuroo didn’t like how the man is acquainted with Kenma.

Everything about the guy seems wrong and Kuroo doesn’t like it.

“Guren,” Kenma calls out what seems to be his name. Other people might mistake Kenma as annoyed by the way he called out his name but to Kuroo, it seems like he was glad to see him. It piques Kuroo’s attention - in a not so amusing way. “A friend?” Kuroo asks Kenma but he pulls up a smile at the man as he walks closer to them.

“No.” Kenma answers at the same Guren smugly says, “Best friends.”

Kuroo smile twitches at Guren’s answer.

The position for Kenma’s best friend has already taken by Kuroo since they were both five years old. They never confirmed with each other about who their best friend is but after years of friendship, Kenma is definitely Kuroo’s and Kuroo knows he is Kenma’s as well.

That should be the case,  _ right? _

Guren smiles back at Kuroo, offering his hand. “Ichinose Guren,” he introduces. “You’re  _ Kuro _ , right?” Kuroo reluctantly shakes his hand. “ _ Kuroo _ ,” he introduces back. “Tetsurou.”

“Right,” the man snaps his fingers and turns back to Kenma. “He’s the captain of your volleyball in middle school, right?”

“So,” Kuroo starts, hoping to break the eye contact the man has with Kenma. “How did you know Kenma? I don’t think he ever mentioned someone named Guren,  _ ever. _ ” Kenma glares at Kuroo and pokes his side with his elbow.

Guren laughs at his statement and hangs his arm over Kenma’s shoulder. “Well, I know Kenma doesn’t really like talking about his friends so we’re good. We still text each other a lot, right?”

Kenma stays quiet and only gave him a roll of his eyes. What surprises Kuroo is that he didn’t make any effort to remove the arm that he has on his shoulder. “I met Kenma during my third year middle school when I just transferred. He pretty much helped me adjusting and stuff. He’s basically my first friend here in Tokyo, right? Right?” Guren continues to explain while wriggling Kenma around.

“Ugh, enough already. You’re so annoying.” Kenma finally,  _ finally  _ takes his arm off and returns to Kuroo’s side. That small gesture warms Kuroo’s heart and he knows the position as Kenma’s favorite person is still his.

“Right,” Guren laughs. “It’s going to start snowing soon, though. How come you’re still wearing thin clothes?” He pulls at the hem of Kenma’s jacket, only to be pulled back by him. “You never change. Then later on, you’re going to complain about how it’s so cold and such.” Guren mimics Kenma teasingly which earns him another glare and a light punch.

“Shut up. It won’t snow.”

“We all know it will.”

“It won’t,” Kenma answers back.

The warmness in Kuroo’s heart suddenly felt cold after realizing how familiar their conversation had become. Kuroo always feels proud how Kenma can make friends on his own. But to discover that someone knows and treats Kenma like how Kuroo does didn’t feel right.  _ At all. _

He can list Kenma’s favorite games, his favorite food, the things he doesn’t like in his food. He knows Kenma’s mood with just a twitch of his eyebrows or just the way he smiles. Kuroo even knows how much he loves watching the sunset and how much he hates . Only Kuroo knows these stuff.

But all of a sudden, it didn’t feel like it was only his secret to keep.

“Anyway, how was the person that you like, Kenma? Are you finally together?” Guren suddenly asks with a teasing grin that never seemed to disappear from his face. “You have someone you like?” Kuroo turns to Kenma, his eyes wide.

“I don’t.” Kenma answers Kuroo before turning to Guren, lightly kicking him in the shin. “Shut up.”

“Aw, you haven’t confessed yet?” Guren gasps fakingly and leans closer to Kenma. He whispers at him but loud enough for Kuroo to hear. “Don’t tell me  _ Kuro  _ doesn’t know about the things you told me?”

_ Stop calling me that, _ he thought quietly to himself.

“I told you to shut up, Guren. Go away.” Kenma pushes him with his elbow and grabs Kuroo by his arm. “Unlike you, we still have to be somewhere. Goodbye.” He walks away, pulling Kuroo with him.

Guren still laughs as the distance between them increases. “It was nice to see you too, Kenma!”

“Who is it?” A white haired boy steps beside Guren, interlacing his fingers with his. “Kozume Kenma. Remember, the interesting friend I made back in middle school who apparently likes his dumb best friend.”

-

Hours later, they arrived home carrying the cake that Kuroo has been pestering Kenma for weeks. It should be enough to make Kuroo happy. He’ll be celebrating Christmas with Kenma, in their shared apartment. No parents to tease them, no friends to make fun of them, no strangers to make Kenma uncomfortable and no projects to think about (at least for the meantime).

He has Kenma all for himself.

So why does he feel like there’s still missing?

“Kuro,” Kenma calls after he hangs his jacket by the front door. Kuroo smiles at him and does the same. He places the cake on the dining table and takes a seat. Kenma sits in front of him and after a second of staring, he asks, “Do you… wanna start eating the cake already?”

Kenma always does it. He never asks questions straight-forwardly. He knows things about Kuroo that no one can ever tell. He knows when Kuroo is upset but he never asks about it. Instead, he tries to make him feel better. And Kuroo knows that Kenma never  _ tries  _ unless it’s worth doing so.

Kuroo feels special during those times.

He should be feeling special at the moment. But he doesn’t.

He asks himself  _ why. _

“Am I your best friend?” Kuroo asks back, completely ignoring Kenma’s attempt to make things better. He looks at Kenma’s eyes. He tries to read whatever reaction he has to offer and for the first time, Kuroo fails to read him.

Kenma smiles, though, the softest Kuroo ever sees him and says, “Of course you are, Kuro.”

It brings a smile to Kuroo’s face this time and tells his heart that it’s fine.

_ You can still keep the position you worked so hard to keep. _

Kuroo just needs to take a breath then he can joke around with Kenma as usual. Enjoy Christmas Eve with Kenma, lazing around at their very own apartment, watching movies until the sun rises up the next day. The exact plan that Kuroo has for them.

“Were you bothered by Guren?” Kenma suddenly asks. He laces his fingers on top of the table and with Kenma’s eyes on Kuroo, he knows it was his turn to read him.

_ No,  _ Kuroo’s heart tells him,  _ not yet. _

He lets out an airy laugh. “Of course not. I was glad to meet a friend of yours that I didn’t know you had.”

“You’re bothered.” Kenma speculates, anyway. “Why?”

Kuroo wants to keep up the act, to stop Kenma from worrying. But he knows by the look from his eyes that he won’t get away from him unless he answers his questions honestly.

Kuroo sighs, rubbing the back of his neck. “Yeah, a little.”

“Why?”

“Just because.”

Kenma raises an eyebrow and the lock inside Kuroo’s heart suddenly sways. “Only because he knows things about you that I didn’t know.”

“What, the person that I like?”

Kuroo shrugs. “Not that it matters. You’ll tell me who it is when you’re ready, right? And I’m certain that whoever it is, they definitely likes you back already.”

Silence surrounds them for a moment and Kuroo thought it was the end of the conversation. Kenma will try and open up about the cake again but  _ boy,  _ he couldn’t be more wrong.

“Why do you say so?”

Kuroo stares disbelievingly at Kenma.

“Because you’re  _ you _ ,” he manages to answer in a blink of an eye, ignoring the whispers for him to stop coming from his heart _.  _ “You’re smart, funny, and interesting. You’re cute and you work hard. You think about the people around you more than yourself. You know how to make them feel special. You-”

He stops himself from talking after realizing Kenma had been watching him attentively, his eyes wide.

“Sorry, those just came out wrong, you know. I don’t really,” Kuroo ends whatever it is that he was going to say with an airy laugh and pushes himself up, completely ignoring the loud thumping of his heart against his chest and the heat that rises up on his cheeks. “Time to eat the cake.”

Kenma stays quiet as Kuroo stands by the counter of their kitchen. He pulls out two plates from the drawer as he heard Kenma stands up as well. He hears footsteps getting closer to him and suddenly, Kenma’s forehead is against his back.

“K-Kenma?"

“Do you have anything else you wanna tell me, Kuro?” Kenma asks with his voice so quiet that he thinks he’s imagining. “Tell me.”

Kuroo feels the slight desperation in Kenma’s voice. He sets the plate back at the counter and holds at the edge, gripping so tight that a bruise might start to form. He felt the lock inside his heart dangle again. The feelings he held for his childhood friend for so long wants to explode.

_ You’re going to lose him either way. Years from now, he’s going to find someone who knows him better than you. You won’t be able to keep the position as his best friend forever. You’re going to lose him anyway. _

When Kuroo finally opens his mouth, Kenma takes his head off from his back. Kuroo abruptly turns to look at him and for the first time in fifteen years he knew Kenma, he sees the most heartbreaking smile that he could ever pull. “Just kidding. Take the plates on the table, I’m starving.” Kenma then turns towards the table.

This is it; a chance to get back to the relationship they got used to.  _ As friends.  _

A chance for Kuroo to seal back the feelings he has for Kenma.

He can laugh it off and celebrate Christmas with Kenma,  _ as friends _ .

_ But is it truly what you really wanted? _

“I’m in love with you,” Kuroo confesses in panic. Kenma freezes in his step, his back facing Kuroo. It’ll be too late to take it back now. It’s either Kenma returns his feelings or ends their friendship right here and then - which will eventually happen anyway when Kenma finally meets the person he truly want to be with for the rest of his life.

“I’m in love with you, since we were little. I mean, I don’t know. But, you’re the only person that I want to fool around with. The bantering that we have, I want to do it with you,  _ only _ . I want to celebrate all sorts of holidays with you. I  _ want  _ to be the only person that knows everything there is to know about you.”

Kuroo continues to watch Kenma’s back, not knowing how to read him. “I want you to be happy. I want you to meet someone who will care for you as much as I do. But as the day gets closer to our graduation, where we’ll have to go our separate ways, I can’t help but be a little more selfish. I can’t,” Kuroo stops and sniffs, finally letting all the hidden feelings he has for his best friend. “I love you, Kenma.”

Their apartment is suddenly filled with Christmas songs being played by their neighbors. Barking dogs, laughter from the drunk people passing by their corridor, random noises from the kids, and Kuroo feels thankful for those. He thinks he won’t be able to take the silent treatment Kenma is giving him at the moment.

Kenma raises his head which results to Kuroo lowering his. He’s going to face Kuroo, he just knows it and even though he just poured the feelings that he kept for a long time, he still can’t handle the rejection that was about to come.

Pair of hands touches Kuroo’s cheeks and his eyes meets Kenma’s watery ones. “I love you too, dumbass.”

His eyes widen. Kuroo already heard those three beautiful words countless times from Kenma but every time that he does, he wakes up and he would laugh at himself for having hope. But, this time, he knows this is the reality. Kenma loves him too.

“The person that you like,” Kuroo inquires between sobs.

Kenma laughs lightly while wiping Kuroo’s tears with his thumbs and pulls him a little lower, letting their foreheads touch each other. “It’s you. I love you, since forever. Dumbass.”

“You do?” With shaking hands, he reaches to touch the hem of Kenma’s shirt.

Kenma cups Kuroo’s face, his eyes still closed. “I do.”

“You really do?” Kuroo closes his eyes, wrapping his hands around Kenma’s waist.

“I really do.” Kenma whispers. Kuroo pulls him to a kiss with tears still running down his cheeks.

The clock strikes twelve midnight and from outside, the kids running around the corridor can be heard yelling, “It’s snowing. It’s finally snowing.”

Kuroo pulls back from the kiss and buries his face in the crook of Kenma’s neck. “You’re disgusting,” Kenma complains but doesn’t make any move to push him away. Their arms tighten around each other as they both listen to the laughter of the kids from outside and the sniffing noises that Kuroo makes.

“Merry Christmas, Kuro.”

And for the nth time that night, Kuroo whispers against his skin, “I love you.”

**Author's Note:**

> #watchOwariNoSeraph <3


End file.
